screwed up

It all screwed up.. I will never be the one, I know.. Finally I got it.. At first I thought every hard work will be paid off but now I know I was wrong, so wrong. I always think that I can be the one, I put a lot of efforts in but no one sees, no one.. What I did was just some trashes!! They'll never appreciate what I've done. So what? I should know that! Then only I won't be a fool, gives out all of my efforts but gets nothing! Nothing at all! All I got was your devil eyesight WTH??!! I always say that I must be serious when doing something otherwise I went back to school for nothing. But it seems like only those people who did nothing can get your compliment. I'm not fighting for my fame or wanting to know more friends, I'm just fighting for my future! I want to get a post so badly because I'm fighting for my full scholarship! But I think God is playing some kind of  game with me, whenever I need something so badly, HE will make problems and try to stop me or block my way. Yes I know, I know it must be some kind of test or what, but I think this time is different! Totally different! I feel like I'm nothing, just because I'm not close with you guys doesn't mean that you can be so mean to me! I just want to beg you guys to open your eyes widely and see who's the one who has the potential and who's the one who did all those works! I'm not saying that I have potential, it's just that I think I'm the suitable one to handle these things well. I always think that I can get a post, get more points for my Co-co marks or whatsoever but now I finally realized that I'm dreaming all the time! She told me not to be afraid and tell them what post you actually want, but I don't know why, I'm not confident to say that. I know I didn't do anything wrong but I just feel like I did, I feel like I really did something wrong... So here's the question, should I continue my way? Should I quit and join another club? Because it seems like I'll have a better post in the other club. I really don't know what to do. God, if this is your test to me, then why don't you give me some clues? Tell me the next step. Please.

My next plan:
I think I should keep it aside and start to do revision. Tell you what, I have 21 school works. Yes it's true, 21! All I know are those things I learned during tuition and believe or not, that's ALL I know, THAT'S ALL. I'm getting lazier I know, even Yeewen can't stand me anymore. Now she starts to yell at me. Eh not yell, she doesn't even want to bother me :/ Besides that, McDonald is driving me crazy. Those attitudes she has are very terrible which make her become a bitch too. Now she's in the same gang with another bitch, The Bitches (Y) Study sucks, friendship sucks sucks, future plan sucks sucks sucks! What's more? Oh ya, my pocket. Same situation, I'm still bankrupt. Social problems?? I don't think I have it, since I'm not that social like I used to be, since I'm not that kind of bitch too. My eyes are getting brighter, now I can even know who's the good one and who's the bad one through my eyes. Pro huh. My junior, tsk tsk tsk, she's just one of them. She's now trying to have a good relationship with the seniors. Yayaya, everyone has the same target which is to get famous. Duh, I guess I'm not a human since my target is exactly different with them! They all think that I did all of these because I want to be famous but please you don't know me and you're totally wrong!! I'm not you, I'm not as rich as you are, I have to fight for my future, if you don't know it so please just shut up! I don't blame you for knowing nothing but please don't spread some bad things about me, karma is there waiting for you, watch out.