Something really bad just happened. I'm feeling really tired with it. All the problems just can't stop bothering me. The thing that I've worried the most happened. The man that I love the most got sick. He is the first man I've ever loved in my life, I cried every night because of him. I pray to God every night, praying that He won't take the man that I love away from me, hoping that He'll save him. Of course, I think He heard me, thank God my dad is getting better. I can't stand the life without him, even now he's always in and out the hospital which located just miles away from my house, I just can't stand it. I tell Him: 'if you save him, I'll give you everything or anything you want, including my life. I'm willing to trade my life with him, you can take my life if you want, just promise me you will save him.' That's true, I mean it, I would do anything to save my dad. I've been a vegetarian for about three weeks, making it as a trade or anything you call to my dad's health.
It's exam week now, I can't stop thinking things about him. I cried during exams, I wrote my dad's case as an essay for my English test and I had no idea that it might bring me lowest mark in the class I guess because everything I could think about during that time, was about my dad. I admit that I believe in God, but I still believe in Buddha, I still go to temple and pray, I'm rational, I think that God is the One(s) who protect(s) us, no matter what religion you are, they'll take care of you and will try their very best to fulfill your wishes.
I'm home alone now, worrying about my dad. He's in the hospital now, due to some problem with his lungs. I can't visit him because it was me who infected him because I'm having light fever now. I really don't know what to do. I successfully quit my club, because I might don't have time for the activities they planned. I need to work after exams because we have no income now, thanks to our beloved relatives, who gave us a hand when we're in need. They really helped us a lot. Words can't describe how much I thank them. And thanks to my friend Kayathri, she helped me get through all these things too, I can't stop bothering her and telling her all the problems that I'm facing now because I really need someone to listen to me, thank you very much my friend, sorry for bothering you. I love you all, I love my family, people who helped my family, friend(s) who helped me get through all these things. I feel it now, I finally know the feeling of depending someone and trusting someone. Sorry to say, I trust them now, even though they might betray me in the future but I really trust them now. Thank you. I love you all, I love you daddy and I love God, whoever is it who is taking care of me above me.
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