I kept quiet for the whole 'meeting' because of two reasons. First: I have a problem of speaking English, I need more time to think about what I want to say, that's why I lost my another chance too, a chance to speak out, a chance to impress the ones who gave me the stupid post. Second: I really don't feel like giving any commitment to the club, I even thought about lying to my friends that my mom doesn't let me to join the club next year due to SPM examination so that I can get a higher post in another club.
She really impressed me, she's a lawyer gotta-be. And she can speak! The way she talked was so straight to the point. I really like her only that she doesn't seem to know my existence. The way she gave compliment to her, the way she high-5ed with another her and the way she felt impressed with the thing she said, really hurt my a lot. She even told me that she didn't mention my name in the office which I can actually understand because I didn't talk a lot during the 'meeting' that's why she can't remember me.
It's not that I want to praise myself but I do really think that I can do better than them even though everyone has different talent. So now, the only thing that borders me the most is, should I stay or should I go and aim for higher achievement? If I stay, I'll definitely be very very stressful for the whole year. But if I go, I can get a higher post but at the same time, I might lost an interest. I'm starting to think that maybe I should stop thinking that I'm good and just do something that I should do. God knows my future, but I'm totally lost now. Please, direct me.
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