I don't usually name a very common title because I don't want anyone to know about my blog.

After five years of high school, I realized that there are only small amount of people that I actually care about. Sarcastically, most of them aren't in the gang. How I wish I can still be friends with them. I ruined it. I know I ruined it by my own hands. I could have kept them with me but I have chosen the other them. I don't know did I choose them because they are more sociable? Or because they're more in number? I only remember that I blame them ( the ones that I care about) for being boring. I feel terrible. I am extremely sorry. But there's nothing I can do to get them back.

My phone has been ringing since the past two hours. They're organizing a primary school gathering on the groupchat. But some stupid fellas are taking advantage of the groupchat because they happened to flirt to other girls! I still haven't spoken on there because honestly, I'm afraid to be ignored. It's terrifying. I really hate that kind of feeling. That day when I went out with Phy, she introduced me to a cute guy but guess what, he ignored me. Yes, he did. Come on, I know I look ugly but... Alright, I'm speechless. None would want to know an ugly friend, that's a fact. One of my friends told me she wanted to introduce me to her friend but I rejected her. Love at first sight will never happen in my life because my first image to people is always-- LC, meaning cool but ugly. Those who confessed to me before were kind of my close friends which means people will only like me when they get to know me more. That has been proven.

'I'm so dry.'
The phrase that I've been hearing from my friends recently. All of us are so desperate to find a boyfriend. You know, SPM has finally passed and we all are both  mentally and physically prepared to be in a relationship but the truth is there's no one out there for you! The more you want, the smaller the chance it will happen. God, please listen to me. It's not like I must want an angmo to be my boyfriend, anyone could be actually. So, could you please arrange one for me? It's so embarrassing to say that I've never been in a relationship before. :( I am still waiting for my first love. Okay, I feel like crying now.

Anyway, I am looking for a job now. Days and nights I've been searching for a job on the Internet. Sent tons of resumes but none replied me. And you know what, I accidentally saw a vacancy posted by Chanel. Wasn't sure was that Chanel of KL but I still pray for it because I'm so jealous of my sister. She's working at Miu Miu now and she met a lot of new friends. I'm more interested in her gay friends to be honest. She's just so good in making friends. My mom told me it's because she always smiles. I admit that I don't really smile. She has fair skin and charming eyes too. She blushes when she smiles. What to do? I guess it's probably because I did too much of sins in my past life.

That's all for today. Tata!