That month.

During THAT MONTH aka the most torturing month in my entire life (well, actually it was okay because I think the trial examination was more torturing), I wrote my 'exam journal' every time after I finished one subject. That month, was the month that I took my SPM examination. The SPM examination is a must for every student in Malaysia. It's kinda like vomiting everything that you've learned in the past two years. So, here they are, my exam journals:

BM
I feel depressed. I don't understand, after reading all those literature thingy and those Malay idioms, I still couldn't manage to answer the paper properly. Again, I chose an essay question which none of my friends has chosen. Who knows, I might face the same thing again. 'All points wrong!' Even though I told everyone that I write both 'usaha' and 'kebaikan' but deep inside I know that if it was asking for 'usaha', I would be lack of points. All I ever wanted was just a B. This time, although the good news is I will never have to write another Malay essay for the rest of my life, I'm still afraid that it might end up with a C. I just want to drag myself to the English paper which I'm gonna have tomorrow. I hope I will not have this kind of feeling again for the rest of the month, running out of time and saying 'WTF is this?!' right after opening the question paper. My God, I really don't understand the whole Opu Daeng thing!

BI
I thought it was a success. Finally, at least an A. Started with a B was not good. It dragged my emotion. I wanted to write a very very sentimental essay. I even cried when reading the first three paragraphs. But, unfortunately, I ran out of time again. This time, I did not only forget to complete the format, I also missed the extra two points. The ending of the essay was awful! Maybe it was a punishment for what I've done this morning. I shouted at my mom because she brought up the pilot thing. That time only I realised that the only thing that you can't make fun of me, is my dream. Great, this over confident disease is gonna control my whole life. Again, another depressed night.

MATHS
I thought I could get an A+ for this paper. So far I think I got 40/40 for objective questions. but some stupid KBAT questions turned out in paper 2. Something about jackfruit and durian. My God, were they trying to treat us like lab rats? I was proud of myself that I tried the Earth As Sphere question. And I think I might get full marks for that. Teehee. So, nothing much, just feeling angry and grateful at the same time. At least the first A that I can guarantee pheww~

MORAL
Shyt! I barely finished the whole paper! And guess what, I wasted about 7 marks and I did not write a backup essay. Those KBAT questions were hard like hell! Something about 'apakah hujah anda tentang...'. My God, what the hell is hujah? My opinion or my ways to solve the problem? And for the essay questions, I wasn't even sure what format I should use. Jeez. Alright, another variable. I can't guarantee two As now, one for moral and another for BI. This is not good, not good at all.

SEJARAH
I was quite happy with the questions because I happened to be able to answer about 90% of the questions. Right after paper 1 had finished, my friends did some discussion about the questions. I was shocked that most of the answers that I changed at last minute turned out right. For paper 2, I almost laughed when I saw the questions. My God! It was so straightforward and almost 95% same as the ramalan that our teacher gave us two days ago! It might be an A! BUT, I was so happy about the paper until I forgot my own principle. I checked the answers. I wasn't supposed to do it! Our teacher and my friend both shared the answers for paper 1. So, it turned out that I only got 29/40! OVER CONFIDENT! Always my weakness. Well, for paper 3, nothing much to say. I wrote 11 pages of DEMOKRASI BERPARLIMEN thingy! But luckily everything was in the notes which were given by our teacher. So, everything was NOT BAD, I guess.

ADD.MATH
Paper 1 was quite easy. I was glad that I was able to answer those KBAT questions. But of course, it's add.math, it's never easy for me. I couldn't answer the binomial distribution question. Well, actually none could, even the teachers. Meiyi said I was quite good that I could answer one of the KBAT questions correctly. And so, like what I always did, I was too over confident again. Tangent graph really came out in paper 2. Damn, I couldn't do the second equation. Not only that, I also left many questions to blank. Questions like simultaneous equation, collinear of vectors, differentiation and yeah, binomial distribution again. I crapped for logarithm and I don't even think that I got the function question right because I didn't really have much of time to check it. I almost lost 25++ marks there. That's already enough for me to lose my A. I don't even think I'm able to get an A-. Lesson learnt, never ever underestimate SPM papers!

PHYSICS
My friends shared the answers for paper 1 but I still don't have the guts to check it because I'm afraid that it might turn out like the time when I checked my Sejarah paper 1. I'm afraid that I'm over confident again. So I'm going to wait for everything to end first then only accept my destiny slowly. Honestly, I felt good about paper 1. At least I think I could answer all of them. Not that much of KBAT. But, chapter light came out in section A of paper 2. I was frightened. I did revise about microscope but during exam, I couldn't squeeze out what I've read. My kiasu power came. I finished all of the essay questions. For paper 3, before exam started, I wasn't actually trying to memorize any of the experiments. I was going to go with the flow lol. But luckily, I did had a glimpse on an experiment about current and magnet. And that came out. I didn't write exactly the same as the answers but I've tried my best. I really really pray for a result that I'm expecting. Well, I know that it's almost impossible for me to get best in physics because my biggest competitor, Yee Wen left the hall right after she had finished paper 3. So confident. But her confident is never just a feeling but something that has been proven  because she's just so good in all subjects. I really salute her because she doesn't even need to go for tuition classes! My second biggest competitor is Kel. Whoa she really scared the hell out of me because she got 47/50 for paper 1! Holy mama!

CHEMISTRY
As always, my paper 1 was like 50-50. I'm not sure how many I got right or wrong. The paper wasn't easy. Paper 2 was quite okay. All the structure questions were the ones that I've already done in the module. Hopefully I can score better there. But the essay questions were like shyt as I was confused with the mole ratio. Experiment questions were quite unstable. I thought I knew about the displacement of halogens but it turned out I got the heat of neutralisation right. Well I guess I was just quite lucky to have had enough time for the essay questions because the heat of neutralisation questions was supposed to be the backup. As always, I did not have time to check the papers. For paper 3, I'm still quite unsure because it turned out to be a quite easy experiment. So I finished it within half an hour. At last, after checking the paper for thrice, I left the hall half an hour earlier. None left the hall before me and I was quite scared as I was not sure did I really finish the paper. Plus, the invigilator asked me 'senang ke?'. Scared scare wey...

BIO
Paper 1 was okay. At least I can say that those objective questions that I've done paid off. But what made me feel like killing myself was, I didn't know what was Scurvy. The question asked about what will happen if someone lacks of Vitamin C. I knew the answer was Scurvy. But the crazy part was, they showed us four pictures. I didn't know how did Scurvy look like. I saw gum bleeding but I thought that was a symptom of lacking of fluorine. Finally, I chose the picture with curved legs. WTH. Paper 2, what to say? I had no idea what I knew and what I didn't know. I still don't know now. But at least, I got to answer all the questions but seriously I don't think that I could get high score. But I'm sure that it would be higher than the previous exams. For the essay questions, I can sum up with 'I'm just like standing at the edge of a 100 feet tall building'. I gave exactly how many points they wanted instead of giving more as backups. Yup, it was quite dangerous. For paper 3, oh God, I had no idea what they wanted. I had never seen those two experiments before. I even thought that my second experiment was right but guess what, it was wrong! It was an experiment which none of our teachers including our tutors had taught us before. It wasn't even one of the forecast questions! It asked about how to determine which location had the highest API level using some solid thing. I was like, solid? The experiment that we all read was supposed to use water collected from all locations and determine the API level by using methylene blue solution. All of my friends wrote the same thing, so it's kinda like you jump I jump, you die I die. It's good to know that someone is with you. It's very bad I know but you can't be sure that none of them thinks the same thing too. I really don't know what it may end up as. It may be a B because I really did bad but it may also be an A too because at least I think I did better than my previous examinations for paper 2.

BC
Section A of paper 1 was an unknown to me as I really didn't know how to get marks. Section B was okay but I kinda over elaborated the answers. Sections C part A was okay too at least I could understand but part B was like shyt. I had no idea how to get marks and what was the actual meaning of the poem. Those Chinese idioms were okay to me because I got to answer two questions out of four which asked for the meanings. But the one which asked for completing the last part of the idiom was funny as I just simply created the answer. For paper 2, part A was not hard but I'm afraid that the points that I gave were not enough. Well actually I don't even know how do they give marks and based on what. My essay for part B was dangerous because it was like a primary school standard essay. I don't really think the examiner is gonna like it. But I kinda got the feeling that I can get a B for Chinese. Well God bless me then! You, don't judge, I know I suck at Chinese, or maybe even all subjects. I can't believe I'm saying this, you know what, I used to get 95/100 for Chinese. Duh. Haha.