Three months passed, I did nothing great. This week is an exam week, I did no revision, just hope that I'm not failing any subject. I have to admit it, there ARE many people who are concerned about me. I thank them. I appreciate them. I myself wish to get good results too. Really, it's time to be smart. I always wanted to be a smart person, I just hope that someday people will come to me and ask me questions about Physics, Chemistry or Add Math. Yes, Add Math, even I'm totally not good at it, I still hope that I can be an Add Math questions expert. I'm good at planning, but really suck at achieving it or working towards it. In short, I just want to get as many As as I can for my trial exam.
My mom, is acting so weird. I understand that it's because of her loss but we're all trying to get her on something. We're doing our best to cheer her up and keep asking her to spend time with her friends. Still, her biggest problem is she's being so sensitive. My sister, is being so rude lately while my brother is being so pessimistic. She talks so loud and rude while he thinks that everything in his life should be correctly in order and there will be no such thing called 'consequence'.
Study, family, my personality and social life, are using up my batteries. I'm mentally exhausted. How I wish I can be a vampire like Bella Swan because according to what she says in the movie, The Breaking Dawn Part II, 'I have never felt so energetic', I really want that energy. I hope I can don't sleep whereas I get tired very easily. I hope I can be strong, don't have to fear anything, but the fact is, I have to solve EVERYTHING and the thing that I fear is: I'm afraid that I will fail. It's very ashamed to say, the way I release my stress is, through pornography. But honestly, it didn't really help, only that second when I'm watching it, I will forget about everything and after that, I will feel guilty about watching pornography. Anyway, I have to say that I'm impressed with woman's body, it is really pretty, God's creation.
Well, about my future, I also got a lot of lectures. Miss T said we shouldn't only focus on our hobbies and make them as our future careers. Sometimes, we can be amateurs on our hobbies in the future too. Normally what we like to do won't be a good career. She said I can consider to become a diplomatic officer since I told her I like to have connection with the international. And the funny thing is, just after I decided to put on all my efforts and try to become a pilot, she said pilot probably will not be a good choice for me. So I guess I should do the career test again then.
So, that's all about me for these few months. Nothing much, though I know there's no one out there reading this. Tata then.
I'm as strong as a lion, no one can beat me down, not even Him.
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